Album: Time II: Party
Label: Napalm Records
The newest name we’ve noticed in pirate metal is Rumahoy, who came to our attention when their vocalist, the infamous Captain Yarrface, was featured rapping in Alestorm’s single, “Tortuga.” Originally released independently, the band’s second album, Time II: Party (Wintersun reference?) is set for re-release on July 17, 2020, now via Napalm Records. Needless to say, we were wondering how cringe-worthy this balaclava-clad band was going to be.
Goodness, where do I even begin here. First of all, it’s hard to write a serious review about such a non-serious album. All of my instincts tell me to poke fun anywhere and everywhere I can because that’s just what the band did.
Frankly, this album was musically better than I would have expected. The instrumentation is actually quite good as far as pirate metal goes, but the lyrics and vocals leave something to be desired. The singer sounds like a potato in a ski mask grumbling overtop of Alestorm songs, which would make sense if it’s true that Christopher Bowes writes their music. The first two songs, “Cowboys of the Sea” and “Time to Party” are goofy pirate-themed dance-able party tracks that are well-suited for people who don’t take their heavy metal remotely seriously, though the latter sounds a lot too much like Alestorm’s “Mexico.”
Then we move on to “Treasure Gun,” which is frankly one of the most basic songs that has ever sounded like it was written by an 8-year-old. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some silly, stupid music from time to time, but this pushes the limits of how stupid is too stupid, and the lack of any particularly enrapturing melody pushes the song into nigh unlistenable territories. However, they make a comeback with “The Legend of Captain Yarrface,” whose intro sounds like it was probably sung by Bowes. I can only hope these guys are attempting to be comedically self-aware, due to all the proclamations of being the best pirate metal band ever and all that.
“Harambe the Pirate Gorilla” is some sort of strange tribute to the late gorilla, Harambe, who had been killed after a 3-year-old child had gotten into his enclosure. The song declares that the gorilla would have joined their crew if he was still alive, though I’m frankly not sure how they’re linking this gorilla to the concept of pirates. Pretty random.
The most original-sounding song thus far is “Poop Deck Party,” with some electronica/dance elements thrown into the mix, as well as some rapping definitely by Chris Bowes as Captain Yarrface confirms it, likely done in exchange for Captain Yarrface‘s rapping on Alestorm’s “Tortuga.” Unfortunately, the song is completely juvenile, grasping the low-hanging fruit that is the “poop deck,” with the band not even trying to be clever about it.
“The Beer in My Town is Better than Yours” is exactly what it sounds like – a pirate-themed drinking song, wherein Captain Yarrface talks about the beer he’s tried all over and how it is inferior. Also, they reference “Milkshake” by Kelis in this song by saying, “I could teach you / but I’d have to charge.”
They get a little bit more epic with “1000 Years of Dust” musically. Captain Yarrface appears to be growling (or has had his voice heavily altered so it sounds like growling) in the beginning, which is actually a rather welcome change from the norm and there is some decent guitar wankery going on. This could have been an okay song until I heard “Where is my crew / they have been captured by mummies.” Does lyrical integrity mean nothing these days? At least be clever if you’re going to be campy.
“Full Mast” slows it down a bit for the very obvious dick joke. I don’t really have anything to say here. Again, this is just low-hanging fruit. The album then closes with “Stolen Treasure,” which I thought initially was a decent song until I realized that they literally stole this track from Alestorm – this is “We are Here to Drink Your Beer,” as done by Rumahoy – “We have gone / and stole your song” is sung to “We are here / to drink your beer.” Actually, this was the closest thing to something creative on the album and actually made me chuckle a bit, so… bravo? Wait… are all of these songs ripped off from Alestorm and I just don’t know Alestorm well enough to notice?
If you ever wished Alestorm was less serious with worse vocals, Rumahoy is the band for you. This album is fully derivative, only without any of the tongue-in-cheek cleverness that is mandatory for a joke band. While the music is lively and fun, good for dancing and partying, Captain Yarrface is the clear weak point in the band and basically the focal point and central theme of the whole thing. The sense of humor is pretty juvenile and the vocals could be excused if they were clever but they too often go for the obvious and aren’t even particularly creative. As much as I want to say that this is a great album of stupid drinking/party songs, frankly, I could recommend a dozen other bands off the top of my head that do stupid drinking/party songs better. It feels really like this is a band whose sole purpose is to be a worse version of Alestorm. Well, maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll release an instrumental version of the album someday.
Rating: 5/10, 2 stars
1. Cowboys of the Sea
2. Time to Party
3. Treasure Gun
4. The Legend of Captain Yarrface
5. Harambe the Pirate Gorilla
6. Poop Deck Party
7. The Beer from My Town is Better Than Yours
8. 1000 Years of Dust
9. Full Mast
10. Stolen Treasure